Recipe for humble pie provided

| Part I is also available online. |

Part 2

To help us evaluate the practice of humility, Stephen Covey, author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," shared his view of humility in a recent USA Today article.

"My experience is that humility is one of the characteristics of the people at the very top," Covey said. "They're more teachable, they're more open, they often show more reverence and respect for other people."

In our materialistic "me first" world of human relations, for humility to be anything more than an esoteric activity, the word needs to take on a practical side. It needs to have a presence and appear as a food for life that helps nourish relationships. For this reason, the following perspectives provide food for thought and my recipe for humble pie.

2 cups of self-discovery - humble people respect what they see when they look in the mirror. More often than not, we value ourselves because we have stepped through life's door onto the path of self-discovery. Every step taken enables us to rejoice on our portion of life's riches. The intrinsic value we receive (1) anchors our acceptance of our strengths and the realization that our imperfections don't have to stand in the way of the development of relationships and (2) eliminates double standards.

Unraveling the mysteries of self-discovery can help others find peace and productivity as equally worthy individuals.

For example, if we look upon ourselves as someone who has intrinsic worth, this unconditional positive regard can provide a foundation for being generous with and supportive of others.

1 cup of self-acceptance - humble people accept themselves. Self-acceptance is not a goal; it is a by-product of self-discovery. Clearly, once we accept ourselves we are more likely to lower our defenses and respect others. The resulting serenity can mean we accept and practice the importance of other people and work with them in service of shared goals, rather than arguing or holding on to our own agenda.

12 ounces of respect for others - humble people respect others by listening for understanding. They are focused on discovering how others think and feel. At this level, the recipe for humility requires a mix of self-discovery to provide stability, a pinch of imperfection to prevent complacency, a dash of self-acceptance to increase self-esteem, and enough contact with others to prevent us from becoming prisoners of our own ego centric view of the world. Respect for others can serve as a bridge from the bondage of the ego self when we realize there are countless ways of seeing the world. Later, this respect escalates when we listen without interrupting, passing judgment, offering criticism or giving advice.

Stir slowly the contents - humble people develop slowly. Self-discovery, self-acceptance and respect for others take time to develop. While the process takes time, the results are worth the wait? Why? Our responses are now more a product of our faith in and respect for others, hope for the future and charity for all people-than our moods and feelings.

No self-serving behaviors - humble people don't elevate their own status according to the values of the world. Too many people like their money, others like their sense of style, still others enjoy the sound of their elevated language and the feeling of power that results from their vocabulary and syntax. By their very nature, humble people don't need to draw attention to themselves. The recommendations are as follows: (1) don't draw attention to yourself through your words and appearance; (2) don't waste your time and money on worldly status symbols that exalt your importance; (3) spend more time listening than talking; (4) say "we" more than "I"; (5) dress modestly; (6) drive a reasonably priced car; and (7) live in a house that is more comfortable than eye catching.

3 tablespoons of a comfortable climate - humble people communicate in "special" ways. They uphold ethical principles about how to treat others by asking "What does a comfortable climate feel like?" and "What role can we play in establishing a more positive group experience?" To start with we might make sure that nobody is left out, every person's ideas are respected, people are open and honest with each other, everyone listens and responds in non judgmental terms, and when people need assistance we try to help. The goal is for others to know that they have an esteemed place in the relationship or group.

A dash of open mindedness and flexibility - humble people don't overestimate what they know and have mastered. Information in the world increases at an alarming rate. There is always more for us to learn and new technology for us to embrace. An open mind, together with flexibility and a commitment to grow can help nurture humility.

3/4 teaspoon of outside influence - humble people learn from others. Humble people are open and willing to be influenced by others. Following are six things we can do to increase learning: (1) get lots of ideas from as many sources as possible; (2) give our idea censors a rest; (3) don't rush to conclusions and action steps; (4) control our desires to be heard over the voices of others; (5) don't defend our ideas after they have been scrutinized by others; and (6) think of what is best for the group before considering ourselves.

12-ounce can of collaboration - humble people make others feel that their contributions make a difference. Collaboration is an integrative approach to enhancing relationships, not repressing diversity. The process stimulates an awareness that everyone has something worthwhile to contribute. The process escalates when we seek out information from a variety of sources and pool the best ideas from each contributor.

Slice of praise - humble people are praised for the manner in which they praise others. The greater the acceptance of others, the more we will be held in high esteem.

Fresh portions of failure - humble people fail and learn from the moment. We've heard that failure provides valuable feedback. Most of us haven't heard that, on average, we fail at the rate of six times a day. At this point, learning begins. When a mistake is made: (1) admit it, (2) correct it and (3) learn from it. Humility should remind us that the person who makes a mistake is not bad, just human.

Cook slowly on an open fire - humility lights more fires than pride extinguishes. For this sunbeam to pass through our lives without losing a particle of its original ray I recommend we (1) undo the knots of the heart and embrace people where they are; (2) enjoy the passage of time, listening, and working with others; (3) respect the ideas and contributions from colleagues; and (4) believe that applied humility, like converged light on a mirror, reflects itself with redoubled brightness when it affirms that life is sacred.

Flick is a professor in the Department of Communication.