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Make your child resilient in times of crisis

University Relations
News Bureau (662) 325-3442
Contact: Pam McTeer
March 16, 2005

STARKVILLE, Miss.—Whether dealing with a home fire, family death or even a tsunami, children need to feel a sense of stability and control in order to remain resilient.

“The better equipped children are to handle everyday stress, the better they’ll be able to handle a crisis situation,” says Carlen Henington, a nationally certified school psychologist and associate professor at Mississippi State University.

By providing constant support, praise and a guided sense of independence, parents can teach their children to better withstand the stress of sudden traumatic situations. To achieve this, Henington recommends:

—Encouraging independence by allowing children to make choices appropriate to their ages. Choosing the kind of sandwich to eat can even teach decision-making skills.

—Establishing routines that develop a sense of control. Regular bed and meal times help give children a stability that reinforces problem-solving skills.

—Nurturing self-confidence by reminding children of their successes and reassuring them by saying things like “I knew you could do it.” This is especially true with children younger than third grade, who need praise that is immediate, specific and believable.

—Keeping expectations real. Example: A child without developed bike-riding skills should not expect to ride perfectly on the first try.

—Developing a sense of success through small steps. Again using the bike-riding analogy, parents should first hold the handlebars while teaching the process and praising each new achievement as the child’s skill develops.